I don’t wear a lot of make-up. I own a decent amount surprisingly for someone who hardly ever wears it. I’ve worn very little make-up my whole life mostly because of my father’s influence and his insistence that woman who wore a lot make-up were the “wrong” kind of women. The two women who influenced me the most growing-up, wore very little make-up. I find wrinkles and my grandmother’s sun-worn skin beautiful. I find imperfections interesting. Since those early lessons, I’ve found my father’s thoughts on woman and make-up to be a bit off base. There are plenty of good woman who wear make-up daily.
Like I mentioned before, I do own make-up. Quite a bit actually for someone who doesn’t typically wear it. I enjoy wearing it on special occasions. I use to wear it frequently, but not daily, when I’d go to the office. Now working from home and having two little ones, the opportunity to wear make-up doesn’t arise much. On the rarity that one does, I hardly ever actually go through with the work of putting any on. One reason, is a lack of time. A second, is my husband really prefers no make-up which makes it easy to skip putting it on.
There have been times when I felt pressured to wear make-up. Yes, I feel pressured to wear it. Make-up has been associated with femininity. Many blogs I’ve read suggest that wives should be doing things to promote femininity. Now these blogs did not say: Wear make-up or you’re not a woman! But I walked away from them feeling less of a woman. I understood why they said what they said.
Those bloggers point: Woman should remember and find joy in being a woman and doing such things will help her relationship with her husband. That make sense to me. After all, we met and married our husbands when typically we, as woman, have more time to focus on ourselves. The result? We go the extra mile to have our hair done, our outfits are perfectly matched and without spit-up, we have make-up on, etc. That’s how our husbands met us and fell in love with us. So, its natural that he would find this attractive.
As life happens and a couple turns into a family, it’s so easy to let things go. It’s easy to slip into comfy pajamas and pull the hair into the pony. I think all moms have been there. It’s easy to think, I’ll dress-up nice next time. Or, I’m just hanging out at home, there’s no reason to worry about make-up today. We as woman and moms, slowly lose some of our feminine appearance by staying in baggy sweatpants all day everyday. We lose some of the physical attraction that first attracted our husbands to us. And so, dressing up and putting on make-up is special for our husbands. It helps him see you in a different light and can bring back that spark of when you first dated.
I, however, met and married a man who finds natural beauty attractive. He thinks its odd when I put on make-up. In fact, it always starts a conversation. I think he worries he may have forgotten something important! In fact, he finds make-up so very distracting that he almost complains about it when I wear it. At first I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t very good at wearing it. Now, I believe its his taste or preference.
Now that I don’t wear it very often, I’ve realized it’s a lot of work to put it on! I’m so impressed on those of you who manage to put on make-up everyday. I fully understand why doing this act of putting on make-up can be a gift for your husband (those whose husband’s like make-up). It truly is a gift of time! I’ve also realized that what is a gift or nice to do for one husband isn’t always the same for others. So, if you use to wear make-up when you first met your husband, put on some make-up every once in a while. Go that extra step to make yourself beautiful. If you have a husband who doesn’t care so much, find other things to do for him like wearing a dress or baking him a dessert or giving him time for himself.
This no make-up mommie will continue to find ways to make my husband happy and surprise him with little gifts. This may not include wearing make-up, but it will help grow our relationship.