Recently I’ve heard and read of stories about loss. Lot’s of loss. And, for whatever reason, I’m fixated on those stories. I do this every once in a while. Most recently, a dear friend of mine has been fighting terminal breast cancer. She has young children and it seems like her illness just keeps kicking her. She’s usually quite positive and hopefilled. I’m forever impressed with her. A friend of a friend just suddenly and somewhat traumatically lost her husband. Again, they had younger children. Finally, another friend lost a dear friend to a car accident. And, guess what, young, in this case very young, children.
Some of these children are young enough memories of their mom or dad will be quite limited. And in all except my dear friend with cancer, they lost their parent expectantly, meaning there was no time to plan “fun” memories. These children will be dependent on their daily memories and those already built. And those others around them share with them.
This got me to think, if I would tragically be taken away from my very precious family. What will the remember of me? What do I want them to remember? I know, a bit morbid, right? But, this is so important to me. Because even if I don’t die (heaven forbid) tomorrow, and I live to see my grandchildren, I want my children to have positive memories of me. I want them to laugh and tell stories about the things we do together. I would love it if they remembered little “daily” things too. Not just the big trip or vacation or the trip to the pumpkin patch. Although these are important, it’s not the only thing I want them to remember.
I want my children to remember (in no particular order):
My love for them
Snuggling on the couch
Fun in the mundane
Giggling and tickling
Dinner around the dinner table
My love of life
My love of coffee
My love of God
What I don’t want them to think when they think about me:
They were not a priority
Housework was more important than them
Cranky and tired mom
Question if they were loved
So, how do I make sure I’m making the impression I want to make? How can I ensure my children’s memories are positive?