Wow, this year has been amazing! I’ve had the opportunity to  grow and do so many things! So far this year I’ve jogged two 1/2 marathons and am working toward a 3rd. My youngest started preschool and my oldest first. I’ve celebrated 12 years of marriage. We explored St. Louis as a family. I’m certain there are more things that I’ve not listed.

A few months ago, a very dear friend told me she was getting married. She lives in Japan and I was invited to her wedding. I’m extremely happy to say, I’m planning my very first overseas trip. Not only is it my first overseas trip, but it’s my first trip without my little darlings. I will be away from them for a whole 10 days. I’ve not been away from them for more than 2 days since they were born. And even then, I left on a Saturday morning and returned on Sunday, so really only 1 night.

So you see, I’m extremely excited to go. In fact I’ve purchased new luggage and a travel purse. I’ve been watching the cost of tickets multiple times a day hoping to get an awesome deal. Have no doubt, I’m excited. But a part of me isn’t. A part of me thinks I”m being silly going on vacation without my kids. A part of me worries about what might happen while I’m gone. I wonder, what if my plane crashes? What if I’m unable to return home? What if something happens to a kid? What if…..?

Despite my worries I will go. I know this will be good for me. After all, I use to be very daring. I joined the military at 17 and went to basic training at 18. I’d never flown before when I got onto that plane. I went knowing no one and uncertain of my future. I use to be very daring. Things like that didn’t make me worry or stress. I looked at it as an adventure.

I need to go to connect again with my daring past. It will be good for me. It will be good for my kids to see their mom exploring the world and coming joyfully home.

I will pray that my trip will be safe, that my kids will have a good time with their dad while I’m gone (and behave well….), and I pray that God will oversee the planning, as well as, my trip itself. My rationale mind tells me it will be fine. It’s my irrational mind that paralyzes me.

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