2024 Word and Bible verse of the Year

For the last several years, I’ve picked a word of the year. Last year, I also picked a bible verse for the year. Last year’s word was Flourish. I had wanted to learn to flourish in every situation and all of my relationships.

Well, last year was quite the year. I struggled a lot with work relationships. I don’t want to go into detail, but it was tough. Very tough. Unfortunately, this leaked into my home life and really impacted me. This made it a rough season of life. Have you been there? I’m sure some of you reading this has and know exactly what I’m talking about.

I mention last year because it was on my mind as I was thinking about what I wanted for my word this year. I really wanted a word that met me where I am now and moved me forward. I have been feeling a bit stuck. So moving forward is very important for me. As I considered everything, I realized, I really need to work on rebuilding my trust in relationships. I need to make sure as I work through my issues, I remain kind to everyone. All of this despite past hurt.

So, this brought me to my word of the year. The word I settled on was GRACIOUS. The definition of Gracious is behaving in a pleasant, polite, calm way; courteous, kind, and pleasant. I think it fits for my goal this year. I’m hoping as a focus on this word, I will be pleasant, courteous, and kind.

I also wanted to pick a Bible verse. I really like the idea of using one verse to keep coming back to. One verse that will help refocus me. A verse that was related to my word of the year. This year, the verse I picked was Psalm 145:8, The Lord is gracious and fill of compassion; slow to anger and of great mercy. I’m hoping it will help remind me to compassionate and slow to frustration.

Do you choose a word of the year? How about a Bible verse for the year? If so, I’d love hear what you choose.

In a Blink of an Eye

Have you had that moment when you realize, your kid has grown up and is now a teenager. You know, you blinked. Then, BOOM! There’s a teen standing in front of you. I mean, I knew the kids would grow-up. And, I’m glad it happened. I love the freedom that I’ve gained from having an almost teenager and a teenager. But this weekend, it hit me that not only do I have a teenager, but a pretty amazing teenager.

This all hit me this weekend doing something mundane. Something I do every day. Something I could almost do with my eyes closed. Something that is more of a chore than a task. Something that…Ok, you get the point.

We’d finished lunch and I’d left the room for a moment. Came back in, and my daughter was finishing her dinner. As I began cleaning up the table, we fell into a conversation about one one of her anime shows. She finished eating and then fell into step with me cleaning up the table. You read that right. She started helping cleaning up the table with me.

Later yesterday, I was working in the yard and needed help. I asked her to come out to the yard to help. She, without complaint, jumped in and did what I asked. She made it fun by being a little silly with what we were doing.

She has not only grown to a teenager, but into a teenager that is willing to help out. Don’t get me wrong, I get plenty of eye rolls and heavy sighs. But not typically when I ask her to help me. I’ve raised a daughter I love spending time with. I have a teenager who is caring, compassionate, and willing to help out. She is a good person. A genuine good person.

Are you a parent of a teen? Have you had one of those moments where you suddenly realized your kid is grown up? More importantly, grown up into a good person? I’d love to hear your stories! Brag a bit on your kid below.

New Years Resolution 2021

Its been awhile since I’ve done one of these posts. Well, to be honest, its been a while since I’ve posted regularly. I can’t make promises that I don’t know I can keep. So, I’m not promising I’ll post every week. Unfortunately work and family life are so variable. Especially, now with Covid 19. However, I do want to make resolutions and share those with you. I want to come back and update my progress.

Resolutions are set up to make oneself better. Whether its physical, spiritual, or emotional improvement. Resolutions are a way to set a goal and set steps to achieving that goal. I know going into it, there will be struggles. I won’t be perfect. I may not meet the my goals. But I will try and work toward being better. I want to end 2021 better than I start it.

A year Bible verse is something I’ve done in the past. I really like the idea of using a Bible verse to guide my thinking. To help keep me focus on a Biblical truth throughout the year. This year’s verse is: For we live by faith, not sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

2021 word is a relatively new idea for me. I’ve done it a handful of years. The word is used to refocus me on my goals. It is a one word to realign me when I stray from goals. Therefor, my word for 2021 is patience. I’ve struggled with this in 2020. Well, if I’m being honest, I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I want something and I want it now. I’m not good at waiting. This sometimes causes me to feel stressed because I try so hard to do everything and to get everything done right now. I often don’t relax because of my desire to get it done now. This year, I want to focus on take a breath and being patient.

Well, onto what you likely came to read. My resolutions.

Resolutions:

1. Weight loss: Last year I lost and kept 15 pounds off. My goal this year is a bit loftier. I want to lose 30 pounds. I If I stay motivated, I can do this. I am a WeightWatchers member now. So I just need to focus on my points and start exercising. I was slightly derailed last year due to doing too much exercise too fast. This year, I will start of slower and focus on exercising wisely.
2. 5K completion: Prior to starting grad school (almost 5 years ago), I was running. I was running a lot. I did several 5Ks and a couple of 1/2 marathons. I started jogging last year but a knee injury sidelined me. I need to go slower. I want to do a 5K by December 31st, 2021. Hopefully, I can do it by August. But, one thing I learned last year, I won’t be rushing it.
3. More family time: One thing I learned in 2020, family time can be relaxing and can reset me. I need to make this a focus. I need to plan days were we do family things all day. My kids need it and I need it. We will spend time as a family.
4. Prayer: I want to spend more purposeful time in prayer. I’ve not done as well the last few years being purposeful. Praying about my worries and concerns or even my joys. I feel better when I pray. I feel more focused and like I can do more when I pray.

So that’s it. Those are my resolutions. Did make resolutions this year? I’d love to hear yours. Please share.

Lessons from 2020

I know many people are looking forward to 2020, and the chaos it brought, ending. I get that. Most never would have anticipated a toilet paper shortage. Although, we should have since Supernatural mentioned hoarding all the toilet toilet paper. (Why didn’t we listen?) Most didn’t expect to pay twice as much for meat as we did a year ago. We didn’t expect to move school into our homes or have sports come to a sudden stop. Life looked very different. And, many didn’t like. I get it. I missed all those things that were comfortable and easy.

However, you know what? 2020 brought so many good things too. I learned a lot about what we can do and what we should do. It brought neighbors together. I want to share my lessons learned in 2020.

1. Little things in life. It really is those little things in life that make life more enjoyable. These are the things I took for granted. In 2020, running to the store and grabbing a few things was much more of an ordeal. So, when it returned to normal, I appreciated it so much more. I also never knew how exciting it would be to find TOILET PAPER! Yes, I began celebrating toilet paper sightings. I also have a new found appreciation for doing nothing. Before 2020, the kids were in activities after school and most of the year. We’d be running here and there doing all the busy things. In 2020, I learned doing nothing is a huge blessing. Sending my kids to school is another little thing in life that I didn’t think twice about before. Now, I appreciate being able to do this. And do it safely.
2. Home cooked meals. In many parts of the country, mine included, conveniences were stopped. No longer could we grab a bite to eat while we were out shopping. Several years ago, I prepared all of our meals at home due to food allergies. However, as those allergies improved, we began going out to eat. In fact, we were going out to eat at least once a week. With everything coming to a screaming halt, I began cooking at home again. Boy did I miss doing this. I find it challenging at times due to working full-time outside the home and preparing food to eat at a decent time. But I did rekindle my love for cooking and baking.
3. Movies. I’ve always loved movies. Before the kids, I and my husband went out to the movies almost every weekend. At times, we’d do a double feature if there were two movies we really wanted to see. Then, kids came and we stopped watching movies. This was for a variety of reasons that ranged from the movies are not kid friendly or just simply lack of time. Now enter 2020. Several of these reasons became a moot point. We found ourselves hanging out at home and watching movies. Boy do I love movies.
4. Sleeping in. This maybe should be number 1. I typically bring work home. To avoid from interrupting my family’s schedule. I often will get up at 6 AM on Saturday and Sunday to get a few hours of work in before the rest of my family wakes up. Well, there was a good portion of this year that I was not as busy and therefor, didn’t bring as much work home. This resulted in sleeping in. And you know, what? Sleeping in is glorious. Even if its only until 8 AM.
5. My family is pretty amazing. The number 1 thing I was reminded of is my family is pretty amazing. Not only did we adjust to the new time. But we did it with grace and compassion. I took the kids on hikes to explore the outdoors. We had to cancel our big vacation plans and instead did a small one here. We learned so much about each other and learned to laugh together. We even cried together. They are amazing.

So, that’s some of the lessons I learned from 2020. I’d love to hear what you learned or gained from 2020.

Dear New House

Dear New House,

We’re very excited to have you join our family. We are, really. Even though we’ve only met you twice and the first time was just two weeks ago. We are anxious to make our relationship with you official. I hope this isn’t too fast for you.

It’s a bit fast for us. We had just started looking for you. My daughter is having some difficulty adjusting. You see, she loves the old house. Its all she’s known. She has so many memories with our old house. I know she’ll grow to love you too. I know the old house will soon become a memory. She is passionate and (sometimes) a bit stubborn. But until then, be patient with her. Be kind with her. And know. she will come around.

My son, he’s excited. I think you’ll find him a bit more rambunctious and easy going. He’s loved our old house too. Its also been the only house he’s known. But, he’s a bit more accepting to change. He will be teary, I’m certain with saying good-bye to the old house. And he’ll have days when he wants to go back. But I’m confident, he’ll be filling you with laughter and curiosity.

I and my husband are nervous. Anytime there’s such a large investment. We are get nervous because we too love this old house. We wonder, will the new be good for us? Will it be what our family needs? Will the neighbors accept us? Most importantly, will our children adjust?

So you see, we are very excited and a bit nervous to add you to our family. Thankfully we have a very short 1.5 months to adjust to the idea and say our tearful good-byes. We will be preparing and are looking forward to officially meeting you very soon.

Yours Truly,

A very excited (and nervous) future family

Everything to Everyone: the Curse

Hi. My name is Ruthie and I’m an exhausted mom trying my best to be everything to everyone. I am the mommie to two wonderful little ones who are active in sports and dance. I am the homework boss, snack regulator, grocery shopper, and home referee. I am classroom volunteer, fieldtrip driver, school board member, and cheerleader. I am the housekeeper and home chef. I could go on, but I’m sure you get it. I’m certain you feel my pain. You are in similar shoes.

We are moms. We are wives. We are employees. We wear many hats. And do many thankless jobs. We are the ones who everyone goes to to get things done.

So, what happens when we need a break?

This is exactly where I was last weekend. I needed a break. From Friday until Sunday, I had 2 dance practices, 2 soccer games, 1 dance picture session, and 1 school auction. Plus, I needed to move into my new office space. I felt pressured to attend all of these functions. with a smile on my face. You see, all of these activities needed me or at the bare minimum wanted me. But I felt EXHAUSTED thinking about the weekend. I needed a break. After working 40+ hours a week, I still had a crazy busy weekend to get through.

I silently rejoiced when it was too cold and snowy for soccer. It was one thing off my list. I opted out of attending the school auction. And you know, it was OK. The world didn’t end. Yes, some may have been disappointed. My kids for the cancelled soccer game and probably some people from the school since I typically attend the auction. And you know I and my kids had one of the best weekends we’ve had in a long time. We hung out and watched TV. The kids helped me move into my office without me feeling impatient and rushed. The kids played video games.

I gave myself a pass. You can too. You can take a deep breath and opt out of things. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You can pick and choose what you want to volunteer for. And, quite frankly what events you want to attend. ITS OK. Give yourself permission. Because, when you slow down you win. Your kids win. Your family wins. And, that’s more important than anything else in this world.

Trying to be everything to everyone is a curse. Its not realistic. It won’t make you happy. Volunteer and do things you want but also give yourself a break. Accept being able to take a break and just enjoy life with your family. Sleep in. Break that curse.

(This post was shared HERE where you can find blog posts from other encouraging posts.)

Little Impressions

You ever have one of those moments when your kid says something that just hits home with you? I had that moment this weekend. We were in the car going from one activity to the next when the conversation started. I love talking with my kids in the car. None of us are going anywhere. We’re all stuck in a small space which encourages all sorts of conversations. I’ve seriously had some of the BEST conversations with my kids in the car.

But back to the specific conversation this weekend.

Darling Daughter: I’m so glad you and Daddy are friends and like each other.

Me: Of we course we’re friends!

Darling Daughter: Yeah. I’m also glad you’re friends with Little Ducky’s mommie and daddy. (Little duckie is a baby who goes to our church. She was dressed as a duck last Halloween and hence forth is called Little Duckie by my kids).

I’m so glad you and Daddy are friends and like each other.

Wow. That hit home. My little 8 year-old notices a lot. I’ve always known without a doubt she and her brother know they are loved by their parents and each other. I’d always said kids pick-up on things even when parents are trying to hide it. I’d say that, because I’d learned that in school. I’d say that because I knew kids often, without thinking, share how their parents fight or when money is tight. But for some reason when it came out of her mouth, it really hit home.

I’m so glad you and Daddy are friends and like each other.

Such simple words made a huge impact on me. Yes, my husband and I love each other. Our marriage isn’t perfect. He annoys me sometimes, I annoy him sometimes. I can HONESTLY say we don’t really fight. We bicker every once in a while. But that’s not common at all. We have this MUTUAL respect for each other. We try very hard to talk things out before they become a BIG issue. I pray everyday that we can continue to do this. That we can WORK together to continue to build a wonderful marriage.

We’re not PERFECT. At all. But we sure do work hard at this thing called marriage. We don’t put on a face for the kids. We are real. We work hard to do family things together. My husband and I laugh together, tease each other, and work through things. All in front of our kids. They see us having a good time and problem solving together.

I never realized those little things, impressed on her. But she noticed.

Mommie and Daddy are friends. They like each other. 

What are your kids noticing from you? What do they think of your relationship with your spouse?

To leggings or not to leggings

So, I’m slow to join the leggings conversation. Are they pants or are they not? Can you wear them and not cover up your bum? Must you wear a long shirt or a short skin? Can a slightly larger lady wear them? Or, even more important, is there an age limit on the appropriateness of leggings?

I don’t know the answers to any questions. Not really anyway. I will admit, for the longest time, I’d say you weren’t completely dressed in leggings. Then I discovered running leggings. They make running so much more enjoyable. So, I adjusted my thinking to include, running leggings are pants if you’re running or going to or from the gym. I stand by that. My opinion hasn’t changed on that.

Last fall, I noticed some super cute outfits that include leggings as pants. I wanted to see if this fad would go away or if anyone would answer the question, are leggings pants? Well, they seem to be sticking around and many have accepted them to, indeed be paints.So, I begin contemplating if I could really get away with wearing them.

Then I found LuLaRoe leggings. Ah-Mazing. Super soft and crazy comfy. I purchased my first pair and was so excited when I tried them on and they were really comfortable. I fell in love. The pair I was able to obtain has a bit more design on it then things I normally wear. So my husband has labeled them as my “clown pants”.

After purchasing them and trying them on, I noticed I didn’t have any long shirts. But, I wanted to wear them out last Christmas shopping on Black Friday. With some encouragement from some Facebook friends, I paired them up with a normal length shirt and a long sweater. This had my backside covered but my front was normal. I didn’t think this looked horrible, but maybe not quite awesome. I do after all have some extra weight I carry mostly in my thighs and bum.

I’ve since been looking for longer shirts that I don’t mind and don’t think look too frumpy. I’m having some difficulty deciding on what to get. I don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothing. I try to be as frugal as possible. I’m still searching.

So, my question for all of you lovelies, do you wear leggings as pants? Do you always cover up? If you have a picture of you rockin’ your leggings please share I’d love to see how “real” people pair up their leggings.

Disclaimer: any unkind or mean statements will be deleted.

Embrace: Self-consciousness

All my life I’ve had stains on my teeth. These stains were the point of many cruel comments both when I was a teenager and as an adult. Even though many people were curious or trying to be kind by suggesting ways to fix my teeth, it still hurt. I’ve had doctors examine my teeth like I was an animal up for auction. Sadly I’m not exaggerating. I’ve learn to be self-conscious of the stains.

I’ve always assumed the stains were the first and only thing people saw. I was careful to not show my teeth in pictures. I dreaded meeting new people. Every job interview had the normal nervousness but also had the an extra nervousness. I worried that people judged me when they saw my teeth. I assumed people thought I was uneducated. I was certain people judged me my by teeth.

I’d been thinking about stain removal for several years. I’d looked into so many options. I finally found one that would help the stains and maintain the tooth structure which was very important to me. I struggled emotionally with this decision. I wondered what I would be telling my kids if I did the procedure. Would it seem like I was being vain? And, two months ago, I had the procedure done. I was so excited with my results. I was certain everyone I knew would notice.

Now, two months out, no one’s commented. I’ll admit,  I was disappointed. This had been such a big decision for me. I spent years and many hours debating the pros and cons to stain removal. I realized tonight there was two possible reasons for this 1) I have really polite friends or 2) people really didn’t care as much as I cared about the stains. Don’t get me wrong, I do have wonderful and polite friends. However, I honestly believe, I cared about my stains more than anyone else.

I believe I was more self-conscious about my stains then anyone cared about it. Getting my stains removed was the right thing for me. I’m more confident and feel better about my smile with the stains gone. I wish someone told me or I realized before for my own emotional security  I was more obsessed about it than others. I don’t think knowing would’ve changed my mind about getting the treatment, but it would have helped me emotionally all those years.

I’m telling you, whatever your self-conscious about, people are not noticing nearly as often as you think. There may be people who notice and comment. But honestly, no one cares as much as you do. May that give you peace and may it help you to worry a little less about your imperfections. Please know you don’t have to fix the problem, you just need to accept that simple truth. It is hard, but its true. Embrace the insecurity and your self-consciousness. But remember, to not use the world as your definition of beauty or self-worth. Place your self-worth in the One who  placed the stars in the sky.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

 

Why Snickers Was the Best Christmas Present

This year has been a hard year for me. I’ve not written much about it here because my emotions are still very raw. Last spring I my father died. I and him were not close, I actually only referred to him by his first name. Despite not being close and not have a significant conversation with him for years, it was still very painful. My heart ached for what will never be. I was hurt by all the kind words people said about him, because those words were not true to me. Then five months later, Mom died. My mom and I were close. I helped organize her care for the last 5 years. I talked with her weekly and often went to see her in the nursing home. We had been close when I was growing up and I loved my mom dearly. That was a hard week.

I also started graduate school this last year. I decided that after many years of contemplating becoming a Nurse Practitioner, I should to dive-in. Wow. Life has gotten turned upside down from school. My evenings are almost 100% consumed with studying after the kids go to bed and studying tends to occur during the weekends. Since I’m also trying to be a decent mommie to two young ones, I squeeze in family time and push studying late into the night. So, basically, I’m always tired.

Due to all those changes, I gained weight this last year. Sadly, every pound I’d lost found its way back onto my body. It hardly seems fair that 6 -9 months can undue two years of dieting! Around the time my mom died, I joined Weight Watchers again and decided to focus on losing weight. My efforts were feeble to say the least and I bounced around a 3-4 pounds weight lost between then and Christmas. At Christmas, I’d been steadily losing a pound a week for a few weeks.

Christmas came and so did the time for the white elephant exchange. I ended up with 18 Snickers, you could imagine some of my disappointment. I couldn’t eat them and lose weight. I was extremely disappointed. I was still feeling down and depressed about everything that happened. However, a couple of days after we’d gotten home, I was working and thinking about my mom.

You see, my mom’s favorite candy bar was Snickers. I realized the gift of Snickers was probably one of the best Christmas gifts I could’ve received. I decided to freeze them (that was mom’s favorite way to eat them) and I would eat one once a month to help me remember my mom.

So, now I’m very grateful for the 18 Snickers I received at Christmas.

Have you gotten a gift that seemed poorly timed but turned out